How many of you have ever had that conversation in your mind that really lay into you for making mistakes or making bad choices from time to time? You know that conversation that goes a little like “YOU KNOW YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE EATEN THAT, YOU KEEP SAYING YOUR GOING TO CHANGE YOUR EATING HABITS, YOU ALWAYS DO THIS, YOU LACK DISCIPLINE, YOU NEED TO BE STRICTER ON YOURSELF.” Or, “YOU SAID YOU WERE GONNA GET THOSE EMAILS OUT, YOU SAID YOU WERE GONNA MAKE 10 CALLS, YOU…”
You make a simple mistake and you tend to beat yourself up for it…and your mind goes all in on why and how you blew it!
One of my millionaire mentors, T. Harv Eker, says JUST STOP IT!!! It is a losing battle. You are never going to win that battle SO JUST STOP THAT CONVERSATION! Everyone has that voice inside of them that might berate them for less than wise choices. A lot of people let this voice get the better of them.
Harv, explained that instead of putting your attention on that negative conversation, create a new habit and put your focus on the successes in your life. It’s OK to acknowledge the things you didn’t do right, but drop the whip when you do.
Remember what you focus on expands. When you’re stuck in that useless self-conversation you are focusing your attention on your mistakes, your problems, or what you didn’t do. So guess what, you get more mistakes, more problems, more of you not doing. Change your state. Change your point of view, shift your focus, and shine your light on something that you did really well.
You might say, “I didn’t do anything really well.” Did you get up this morning? Yes. Okay, you did that. That is great. That’s a good thing. There are some that choose not to get up. There are some that choose to stop the fight, to give up hope.
Sometimes you are your hardest critic. Give yourself the grace to have an “off” day, to recover from a mistake, to lose your way every once in a while, and to find your way back home. Does this mean you make excuses when you fall short? NO, most definitely not. It is important to acknowledge when we are wrong, when we make a mistake, or it’s time to a make a change. IT IS TIME TO STOP THE NEGATIVE CONVERSATIONS! Stop living in the past, rehashing what you did or didn’t do, and start living in the present.
Remember your INNER GAME IS MOST IMPORTANT. Another mentor, Valorie Burton , tells how people who beat themselves up have often felt “beat up” by others for making mistakes and are simply taking on the same attitude they’ve been taught by others. You can change this bad habit and create a positive NEW HABIT. Make up in your mind to STOP THE CONVERSATION from this day forward. When you feel yourself about to beat yourself up, take a deep breath and ask yourself these four questions:
- What lesson can I learn here?
- What will I do differently next time?
- What change am I willing to make today to make an improvement?
- What can I pat myself on the back for?
Your best days are still ahead of you. Looking forward to hearing about how you are choosing to Live A Better Life.
Please share the conversations in you have overcome. What was your best strategy to stop the conversation? Share your thoughts … we want to hear from you!